Once upon a time an incredibly wounded soul named Kendra Supersad sighed. Oh, she sighed a lot, such was her life, so sigh-worthy. Kendra lived on an enchanted island called Down There. She had lived there her whole life and she had searched her whole life for someone to share her despair. Though large, her island could not provide her with someone to fill this role.
One day while searching the internet for black clothing, she found a website for people who enjoyed talking in very short spaces about unimportant things. It was called Pitter-Patter, or Pitter for short. On Pitter she could type incessantly about her sadness and dreary outlook on life! These “pits” were responded to with such nice people offering help and comfort. She weeded out these people immediately.
A somber young man named Felipe Easydoesit, much like Kendra, was living in a disconsolate world of his own making in a land called Over There. He sought happiness in pills, but doctors couldn’t ever come up with the right combination for poor Felipe. So he looked for solace in the wonderful little package of American goodness known as the hamburger. He loved them so much he would only work within an arm’s length of one. He also found Pitter and made much of the same pits that Kendra did.
One day they found one another on Pitter! And oh there was sadness and grieving and a general cheerlessness between the two that no one else could fathom or wish to become a part of! They made arrangements to meet and it was gloriously morose! Soulmates! They fought, they argued, they were so happy in their sadness together!
Sometimes they had to fight off misguided people who tried to show them that happiness and joy both within this world and into eternity was possible. They seethed at these naïve wishful thinkers. They took them on, one and all, eventually smiting them!! Mainly by clicking 2 buttons on their Pitter BUT THAT WAS ENOUGH. They could revel in their oppressive misery together, and they did. Until they broke up.
The End.
Nice one. Douchecanoe.
ReplyDeleteDo I sense a screenplay & possible multi-sequels?
ReplyDeleteThis is how you respond to being removed on a social network, eh?
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel: Douchecanoe? Love it! Thanks for leaving a comment!
ReplyDeleteGallagher: YES, sequels galore! Or maybe just this. This couple is one dimensional after all.
Phil: I wasn't removed from a social network. I am still there. Alive and well and pleasing my friends, who tell me when they have a problem with my words. Thanks for the comment!
Dude this is kinda pathetic. Were your feelings hurt that I unfollowed you? Coz you have my email, you could have emailed me about it. Why get personal and nasty? Just doesn't become you, Rob. If you really think we are miserable, maybe the way to work with that is to be the niceness in life, rather than an asshat. Just a tip. Best of luck in life.
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel: Are you implying that this fable is about you? How vain. It is just something I noticed on an unnamed social network, perhaps not even having anything to do with you. You unfollowed me? Why, I hadn't noticed. Why would you do that?
ReplyDeleteYou've been negative and rude lately. Especially after disagreeing with you on spirituality/religion. I didn't see any point in talking to you about it because you have made it clear that anyone that disagrees with you isn't worth your time.
ReplyDeleteAhh Rob. If only your writing were that good that it was not so transparent!! So very Christian of you. God will be proud. /eye roll.
ReplyDeletePhil: So sorry you feel badly when someone disagrees with you. I was pleasant with you when we talked about religion. I very well could have delved far deeper into your world view if I had chosen. So thanks for unfollowing people who disagree with you and challenge you. It will make for an easier life.
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel: I truly enjoy when atheists think they hold the higher ground when it comes to a religion they do not understand, as you've made it abundantly clear. I know your life outlook will get better now that you have rid yourself of me. Thanks for the comment!
If YOU had chosen? Kelly and I stopped talking to you about it because you had clearly gotten agitated.
ReplyDeletePhil: Please provide evidence of my alleged "agitation". Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI am just wondering what God approves of making fun of peoples misery and struggles?
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel: EVERYONE struggles, Kelly. You simply appear to revel in it. It's a teachable moment. Look inward. God's all about tough love.
ReplyDeleteYou think I revel, but maybe I am just working it through. Not everyone has the emotional tools to cope with things with grace. I'd think that was something that would elicit compassion and empathy, rather than ridicule and judgement. Any God that approves of that, is not one I'd ever want to know. I pity you, Ink. Good night.
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel: Or maybe much of the troube you face is caused by your outlook. Improve that and good things will happen. I hope it does.
ReplyDeleteYou made a decision to be negative to myself and some friends for reasons you did not explain. This is what happens in the world, actions provoke reactions. It is your choice or not to seek God. That is your call. I have very little to do with that, so pity is not something you should feel for me.
Grow up, son. I got tired of your tweets. Rather than make a scene, I quietly left. This is the result of your attention whoring. Good day.
ReplyDeleteFeistyKel and Phil: Why have y'all unfollowed ALSweetThing, 1Meanangel, and BrendaBooBoo if this is only a result of MY negativity?
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that is any of your business. Nor do I wish to have a public discussion on the matter.
ReplyDelete